Christmas may be ‘the most wonderful time of the year’, but it can also bring with it many stresses and strains – even if you don’t have to care for someone.
We asked some carers what they do to try to reduce their stress levels and enjoy the festive season:
Katy
“I find keeping a diary keeps me sane. It’s almost impossible to find time to sit down and actually write, so instead I record a sort of monologue while I’m doing something else. I’m always multi-tasking, like all carers! I find it really cathartic to simply talk out loud to myself about my thoughts and feelings while I’m sorting out the washing. If I record it, I can save it, like a spoken diary. It’s not quite the same as the beloved lockable diary with a pink furry cover that I had as a child but it works for me! Maybe one day I’ll write my memoirs from it. But until then, I’ll keep talking, moaning, crying, laughing sometimes ranting to my silently listening electronic friend.”
Vera
“I give myself the gift of some slack over present buying. I’d love to be able to browse in the shops for the perfect gift for everyone like I used to do but it’s just not possible – even finding the time to do online shopping is real challenge. I really do miss pottering about the shops when they’re all Christmassy but I decided to be practical and simplify things. I do a batch order of vouchers that I have sent to me, then I put each one into a little gauze bag that then fits neatly into a Christmas card – I order the gift bags in a big batch too. I keep the cost of each voucher low and I find this is comparatively easy and quick to do.”
James
“I find the whole prospect of Christmas overwhelming. I feel under pressure to make it special for my mum, who I care for, particularly because she always made a massive effort for me and my brother when we were kids. So I try not to think of the whole Christmas period as one big thing because that makes me want to hide away. Instead, I think about the next little task Mum and I need to do, and I give myself a mental ‘well done’ when we’ve accomplished it. I break down the fun bits and treats into manageable chunks that we can do whenever it suits us. Having a hot chocolate and counting how long the marshmallows take to melt or choosing a Christmas song each for a good loud singalong (which always makes us laugh as I am tone deaf) are always good for the spirits. There’s zero pressure; it doesn’t matter if you do it then or another time.”
Toby
“I’ve always been one of life’s planners and I find that helps me now that our lives have been taken over by my wife’s Alzheimer’s. She can become agitated very easily but I find that distraction is the best cure. For Christmas – when I know there will be lots of things happening that are out of the ordinary that may be a trigger for her – I’ve got a secret weapon. I’ve downloaded her favourite old films and music onto my Ipad, and I’ve also asked family and friends to send me little clips of themselves singing a Christmas song, talking about something they’ve done or sending her a Christmas message. That way, whenever I can see her getting upset, I can quickly show her either an old favourite or something new to take her mind off it. This keeps her occupied for a few precious minutes and changes the mood.”
Susan
“My only chance of some quiet time is early morning; I appreciate it as I know some carers can’t even hope for that! I was never an early bird until I started caring for my dad. He tends to sleep late after a troubled night’s sleep. So, over the Christmas holiday I make early mornings into a little treat for me. I keep a packet of crumpets in the freezer so they are always ready to toast – tree-shaped ones if I can get them – and some spiced apple juice in the fridge ready to warm up. I take a bit of time to have piping hot juice and crumpets while curled up in a blanket on the sofa, and I might even manage to have an extra few minutes to doze before Dad is calling me. It’s a little oasis of cosy calm before a busy day and it’s something that’s just for me.”
